I Always Knew
by Seiichiro Watari
Summary: I always knew why they hated me, but I couldn't blame them.


I need to balance myself. If I write a funny story, I need to balance it out with a somewhat sad one.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
------------  
I always knew about it, the Kyuubi inside of me.  
I was born on the day it was sealed. Everybody hates me and they have a good reason to. I'm a demon. Everybody thinks I don't know about it, they just treat me like I'm dirt and live a normal, happy life. I don't blame them, so they don't feel guilty.I never knew, when I was younger, I thought everyone was like that. Until I saw him. Sasuke.

He lived a tragic life. He had no parents. No brothers. No sisters. No relations. His past was wiped out into memory quicker than anyone could imagine. He was like me. Only that people like him. Many people have a crush on him. The moment I saw him, I knew how my life was, I could put two and two toghether. I knew that it was inside of me. I finally knew why I was treated this way.

So why didn't I like it? I've lived five years like this. I could live a few more. I could live many more. But I couldn't. I was mistreated because of something a monster did. Those people who tormented me for those years...those pathetic fools. I could have sent the Kyuubi on them for two years now. Redestroy everything that was built up. They would hate me for it, everyone would. But don't they do it now? I was tempted many times, to go into the chambers of my mind and release the seal on the cage. It would take 10 seconds if I did it slowly. Everyone would regret making me seem like a monster. For annoying me all this time. But, I found a way to live. I saw a man in white hair. He was caught cheating on many girls, causing many troubles in the village. A woman punched him for looking at her and he almost died. But people paid attention to him didn't they? He wasn't ignored. I found my way to live.

I cause trouble in the village. Switching bathroom signs, painting the Hokage monument, even going to the extremes of pretending to have a crush on a pink haired girl named Sakura, just to be recognized as a person. I knew she had it in for Sasuke, and that she would never like me. If she liked me, if we started dating, she would be hated too. I was being recognized, but I was being hated more. I found that people take interest in other people's misery, which led me to my next prank. I needed to steal the Hyuuga Heiress' diary. If I revealed her secrets, it would prove that they were normal people too. To lower those stuck-up snobs to our level, would let me gain fame throughout the village. I would be known as the best prankster and people would actually believe I was one of them too. Afterwards, I would kill myself and make them wish they never made fun of me. I was sure it would work out perfectly, and I was so close too.

But I just couldn't do it. I managed to sneak in and steal her diary. Her name was Hinata and she was a kind girl. She didn't hate me, but before I read it, I never knew she existed outside of the realm of the Hyuuga Heiress. I believed she was a stuck-up snob just like every other well known family. Up to page 80, "the brave blond haired kid" was on every page. From there to 160, I was "the boy I will love forever." From there on, she said that only five words could describe me, it wasn't anything related to the average "demon" or the overused "bastard." It was something new, something no one had ever used for me. The first two were enough to convince me she didn't hate me. They were "Naruto Uzumaki." The next three gave me inspiration to do what she wanted. I used that as my new belief. My new goal. Those were, "the next Hokage."

I gave up my chance to become like a normal person. I gave back the diary. I could never do anything to embarrass her. If the village found out, she would just die of embarrassment, I would never let that happen to her. If anyone found out she liked me, there would be a different chaos. People would hate her instead of me. I'll just take the blame. It's better to have her heart broken from her crush not knowing than to have her soul crushed from the world hating her. Either way, fate would never allow me to live a happy life. Especially since I became somewhat of a stalker of her. I couldn't help it, I loved her. I found that out when I saw her. She was kind and would help anyone who asked her for it, and sometimes when they didn't. Fate is cruel but I'll make sure my fate changes and we can get toghether.

"Soon, she would get over me," was what I used to think. It was a bitter-sweet feeling. The fact that she would forget about me would mean she would not be threatened by the people's hatred. I didn't want her to forget. It would be crueler than her hating me. I feel guilty about my relief when she didn't forget about me. It was during that battle with Neji. She would try her best, knowing I was there. She wouldn't give up, because I was there. I was going to leave, make her feel dishearted and just surrender. It was better than her dying. But then Neji started talking about fate. I couldn't help myself. I was going to change fate to be with her, and here he was, talking about a predetermined life, that she was a failure, that fate could not be changed. I couldn't help it, I lost it. It was my fault Hinata almost died, I would have to fix it.

After my fight with Neji, I learned how to defeat fate. With hard work, I could become the Hokage Hinata dreamed me to be. If I could do that, I could be with Hinata, and she wouldn't feel threatened. My future is unsure, my path is not clear, but there is one thing I know. Everything I do, I will do it for Hinata.  
---------------------  
A/N: So how did you like it? That's all I need to know. I will take all reviews, flames or not. If you want to flame me, please do, but after the flame, give me advice on how to be better.


End file.
